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Find out who won the bottle of champagne, who won the portable CD player and what were the best excuses!
Although there should be no excuse for not visiting Voltimum very regularly, our users have come us with some very original reasons for failing to log on in over a month. You can see the best excuse immediately below and then click to see the other very worthy ones by visiting the following pages.
Also, see our slide presentation below for winners.
Best excuse from Tony Spry:
As I fell in, most of the fish jumped out or died of fright and I had to spend a long time going around pet shops that day looking for similar fish to those that had died, as I didn't want the owner, (who was away on holiday), finding out about it. Because most of the water splashed out of the pond when I fell in, I had to get some more. The only tap was about a hundred yards away and as I could only find a small bucket, it took a lot of trips back and forth to fill the pond.
Carrying all this water aggravated a back injury obtained many years ago installing some night storage heaters. Within a couple of days I was in bed in great pain and cursing the day I ever got involved installing that !!@*&)## pond pump.
Anyway, to keep myself amused I tried to get my wife to hook up my laptop computer in the bedroom, (mainly so I could look for the next email from Voltimum of course). Well, some women have it, some women don't, and I'm afraid my wife is one of those that hasn't. (Got any electrical know how that is). She can't hook up any thing electrical at all, so I had to struggle out of bed and try to connect it myself.
Well, no sooner had I got out, I trod on the laptop mains plug with my bare foot, this made me jump about a lot screaming and shouting all sorts of obscenities, I fell onto the bed and heard a sort of soft crunching sound. My laptop!!! I thought this was the end. I was near to tears when I remembered my Coverplan Service agreement. I got the wife to search for it and after many hours it was found, it had run out!!!
More tears from my wife as by now she was nursing a black eye and was limping somewhat, can't imagine why. Well, after a few days recuperating I managed to get to the bank's hole in the wall to take out some funds for a new Laptop. It's now up and running and I'm surfing the net again.
And my wife? She's now living with the bloke who owned the pond and those bloody fish!
More excuses:
From Karl Spencer:
Sorry I couldn’t visit your site, my network cable at home has been eaten by a piranha fish which escaped from a science project my daughter is doing at school in Reception class after their day trip to the Amazon last month, then when we installed a wireless network we discovered we are living next door to a secret military radar installation which is directing aliens from space to the earth and unfortunately is broadcasting on the same wavelength as my network. I haven’t been in the office much, so I couldn’t log on from there very often, and as we only have a 14.4 k modem for the whole company, then there isn’t any bandwidth left to browse the internet after taking into account everyone in the office playing online games all day.
Sorry for not visiting, still being young and headstrong, I thought I knew it all. However, after a visit to your site, I realised that there's still lots for me to learn!
More excuses
From Mark Rowlands
What possible excuse could there be for not visiting one of the best electrical website portals? However I got married to the present Mrs. Rowlands on September 25th. last year and as this is my 3rd. atempt at this fine institution.
I felt I had to give it my full attention, ( at least for the first year ) ! therefore leaving sadly no time to browse the Voltimum site.
From Mark Harrison
Excuse - my memory of your site had been erased by accident during an alien abduction...
From Martin Bowd
I've been installing Radio Studios in the Falklands Islands, Gibraltar, Northern Ireland and currently Cyprus, where it's still hot, so frankly I'll stay where I am. Cheers.
From Mike Ramsay
I have been attempting to tame the semi-wild Barbary apes who inhabit the Rock of Gibraltar, with the hopes of bringing them to Britain as a plumbing work force to be reckoned with. I understand they are far more intelligent than the standard monkeys we have here!
From Nick Kenworthy
I was made redundant and set up my own company, Bayworth Plastics & Rubber Limited, specialising in offering a materials consulting service to the electrical industry. Our clients include individual or small enterprises up to the large multi nationals. We offer the following services;
Specialists in
; Materials Testing, Product Failure Analysis, Materials Selection, Customer Technical Support, Product Design, Inspection Services, Expert Witness, Trade Association Representation, R&D Programmes, Process Improvement, Fire Performance Technology, Compound Formulation, Environmental Advice, Vendor Assessments, Purchase Specifications, Tailored TrainingSee our website at www.bayworth.com
Or contact us at
Bayworth Plastics & Rubber Limited,
IRC House,
The Square,
Pennington,
Lymington,
Hampshire,
SO41 8GN
Tel: 01590 676622
Fax 01590 675599
And yes we would love to win the prize but we would like to have our company name on your website even more!
More excuses on our next page...
More excuses...
From Nigel Leaver
" I'm from Dudlay and we dow say MUM we say MOM. Me search engine day recognize Voltimom."
From Neil Wright
Sorry I have not been on the website since September, only I got caught in Florida in the hurricane season and have only just managed to get a flight out, anyway I'm back now, just in time for winter golf. I love playing golf in the winter, there's nothing like walking around a wet muddy field with water dripping of the end of your cap with the wind howling around your gunnels. Why I ever went to Florida in the first place beats me?
From Barry Ross
My excuse,
Well I've been busy,
but also I trapped a nerve in my thigh, which was evident at the Tool Fair at Donington, and since then I have been putting all my energies into trying to convince the young ladies that work with me that it would be a great help if they rubbed it better. No joy yet, but I still haven't given up.
From Sheila Smith
I'm surprised you don't already know where I've been, I'm sitting under the palm tree to the right of your desert island at the top of your website!
From Stuart Levene
My Grandson thinks that you are a henchman of Darth Vader and is afraid of what might happen to me...
From Tim Cockreane
I have been hiding my head in the sand during the summer, getting a sunburned arse! Time to do some work now, and visit your website to get the latest news!